motherhood — Blog

I’ve got two little wildlings, Otis and Theo. We spend a lot of quality time together as a group, but it’s incredibly rare that I get to have one-on-one time with either one of them. So the other day, upon realizing that Otis had class and Theo’s school was closed, I decided to take Theo on a special adventure-- just the two of us. I toyed with the idea of journeying up to the mountains for a hike near Kenosha Pass, but then decided it would be fun to stay in the city and put on our explorer caps since we have plans to see fall foliage for the next three weekends…

Of course I had to seize the moment and catch up on some overdue appointments too, so before we took off on our local adventure, I took Theo to the doctor for a wellness check-up. In hindsight that might not have been the best way to start off our special day, for it was temporarily marred by the 4-year-old vaccination schedule. But eventually he stopped crying, and the experience led us to have an interesting conversation about viruses. It also helped us choose our word of the day: “antibodies.”

As a reward for displaying courage and good behavior (all things considered), I treated Theo to a chocolate croissant. He was amazed by its construction and started yelling, “There’s a real live chocolate bar right in the very middle of my treat? It’s real live!! Isn’t that amazing, mommy?” Oh that Theo. He’s got “a million sweet tooths” and is truly a little boy after my own heart. Not wanting to leave the coffee shop without something savory, I grabbed two spinach empandas before we set out in the direction of the RiNo Arts District…

Now I’ve blogged about the ever-changing RiNo before. It’s a neighborhood that houses some of Denver’s best restaurants, bars and coffee shops. It’s also the epicenter of the city’s best street art, and there’s lots of it. The new murals are spectacularly detailed and there brand new pieces thanks to #COCrush15 which took place last weekend. Some of my RiNo favorites include works from artists Mariano Padillo, Jaime Molina, Mike Martinez, Hollis & Lana, David Shillinglaw, Scott Albrecht, Hyland Mather, Mike Graves, Blaine Fontana, Robin Munro, Sandra Fettingis, Jake Mertens, Lolo YS, Jeremy Burns and Max Kauffman*…just to name a few.

(*As I was about to enter Max’s art house I noticed that Theo was starting to get sleepy, so I’ll be back to check it out next week.)

I’ve always been a big fan of street art, but it wasn’t until my friend Risa and I had a conversation about its larger importance that I fully began to understand how beneficial and inspirational it is. You see, I’ve always appreciated street murals from a beautification angle; they provide design, color, and art to a wall that would normally be vacant or plastered with tacky advertisements.

But street art also holds a second (more important) purpose. Namely, it makes art accessible to everyone: to parents with work schedules that are incompatible with museum hours; to children who don’t have easy access to art or transportation; to neighborhoods that are often underserved when it comes to public investments. In short, street art can inspire a creative force in almost anyone, regardless of income.

It also makes for a really great one-on-one adventure….

Enjoy!

xx,

Batya

For more info, check out this column and this column by Lindsey Bartlett.

Overheard Theoisms:

“Those guys have coffee bean heads. That’s silly, so very silly.”

“…and then these octopuses were fighting bad guys- the Storm Troopers- before they were beamed back up to space. Yes, that’s what it’s about…”

“Hey, why is that man walking a fish with a dog’s leash? That’s hilarious.”

“Mommy, do you think we can keep a pet giraffe in our garage?”

“I’m going to show them my sword of justice. Then they will know I’m a superhero.”

“These leaves look pretty, but they’re not real. At least they don’t look real to me.”

“Torchic (Pokemon doll) told me this was the best tour ever. Hey, Torchic sounds like tour.”

“Is this where the natural gas comes from? I want to see it.”

“That silly monkey is playing games with me. He’s a funny guy.”

"Please can I go in here? (Closed Populist garden) I promise not to trespass."

For months I had been looking forward to our Aspen trip. It had been two years since we last visited and this vacation was going to be epic. We, the Bermans, were going to take Aspen by storm! I had grand plans for our mountain getaway: we would eat fabulous food, pick up fresh pastries and fruits at the Saturday market, hike through Maroon Bells for hours, browse the shops, and spend quality time inside the new Aspen Art Museum (which happens to be designed by the Japanese architect Shigeru Ban, the Pritzker Prize winner and also one of my favorite dwelling builders). Yup, like I said, it was gonna be epic!

The drive up to Aspen went well. We made it in good time (under 4 hours with minimal traffic on I-70), and a pit stop in Vail for dinner helped break up the ride. By the time we got to the hotel both kids were asleep and the transfer from car to hotel room went smoothly…

And then, in the morning, things took a turn for the worse.
Medium-intensity meltdowns during breakfast ballooned into full-blown tantrums by lunchtime. But I was undeterred. We were going hiking! It was gonna be epic! So we boarded a bus and everything was calm, that is, until we disembarked. By the time we got to the lake—that famous one right in front of Maroon Bells — it seemed like no one wanted to listen to instructions. Both kids kept putting their shoes in the water despite our pleas (I didn’t have replacements) and then the fighting began. Trying to distract them I said, “Look at the mountains! Look at the lake!” But nothing was working…

After some deep breathing everyone was calm again and we set out for Crater Lake, a hike that is just under 4 miles round-trip. We were only about ¼ of the way into the trail when it became clear to everyone (at least to Matt and me) that this just wasn’t going to work the way we (I) planned. My seasoned, veteran hikers had other plans.

After another tantrum, and a few frustrated utterances by me, Matt decided to lead the boys back down the mountain and bring them back to the hotel. It was really nice of him to do, but my guess is that he probably felt he “owed me one” since he was going to San Francisco and then to Reno for a job related convention that would leave me with the kids for 5 days by myself, without backup. This was going to be my only chance at a break for a little bit, so I took it…

I climbed – alone – for about 2 hours until I was joined by a group of chipmunks (my granola was leaking from my backpack). The leaves were gorgeous and the hike was spectacular. When I got back to the hotel, we all went swimming and then spent the rest of the afternoon relaxing. Instead of a fancy Aspen dinner we went to a restaurant where we ate relatively decent enchiladas and burritos. We then leisurely walked around the historic parts of town, and went to the playground. It was simple and unambitious; the kids loved it.

I mention all this because from the photos I have of our trip you’d never know there were, ahem, issues. I think it's important to be honest, especially in this forum. All too often things look picture-perfect, and more often than not they aren't. I also bring up our tribulations because I feel like I learned a valuable lesson. I, as a parent, have to adjust my expectations. I sometimes demand a lot from my kids—that’s fine and I hope in the long run it’s good for them. But mixed in with all the expectation there has to be the realization and the admission that I must not push them too hard. They need down time and a lot of rest. They can’t always be on the go, sit still for long meals, or hike for hours. I need to roll with the punches a little bit more. It’s really not fair to treat them as adults, because they aren’t—they are only 5 and 3 years old.

That said, we will continue to expose them to things we deem “adultish”- like this State’s beauty and great hiking. We will continue to take them to museums and foster their creativity. We will bring them to rallies and try to explain why it’s important to be engaged. And we will keep taking them on trips that have less ambitious itineraries. No, Aspen didn’t turn out to be the picture perfect vacation I thought it would be. But looking back it was still wonderful, especially after I adjusted my expectations…

My favorite photo from the trip? This one of Theodore sitting at a table in a Himalayan/Indian/Nepalese restaurant in Silverthorne, Colorado. Taken by his brother Otis.